Chasing the Rescue Fantasy
As childhood trauma survivors, our formative years were spent in an unstable and unpredictable environment where we adopted a multitude of self-preservation techniques in order to survive. But those same techniques keep steering us off in the wrong direction in this often confusing world of adulthood.
Our brain’s limbic system, origin of the fight, flight or freeze responses, has remained fine-tuned to constantly scan for threats ever since our erratic childhood. It is now so finely honed that it signals our body to shoot out cortisol or adrenaline at the slightest hint of threat. After many years of this we are exhausted physically, psychologically and emotionally.
Is it any wonder that we began fantasizing at a very young age that someone, anyone, would come along and rescue us?
The negative effects of chasing the ‘rescue fantasy’ have repeatedly landed me in situations that pushed me further and further from recovery. Trust–decaying into betrayal– became a repeating theme in my life. I couldn’t see my part in it. My desperate, subconscious, core need to feel safe and protected kept overriding my prefrontal cortex, that analytical, planning, decision making part of my brain.
Our continued pursuit of physical and/or emotional refuge from an outside source leaves us vulnerable and, as in our childhood, helpless on so many levels. We enter relationships that chip away at our sense of worth, we stay in jobs we dislike, our living situations are sometimes precarious, we make too many decisions based on fear rather than the desires of our heart.
The path to safety, security and peace, however long and convoluted, begins and ends within ourselves. It’s a hard truth that once accepted allows us to leap forward in living and loving the life we’ve dreamed of for so long. It’s time to awaken from the dream and begin living.
Begin now with WORTHY A Personal Guide for Healing Your Childhood Trauma and its companion Workbook. I’ll be there to hold your hand, every step of the way.
Available at Amazon > Worthy: A Personal Guide for Healing Your Childhood Trauma
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