How to Tame a Vicious Inner Critic

by Josephine Faulk, MPH · Published August 13, 2018 · Updated January 14, 2019

Have you ever noticed how one unpleasant thought can pop up and next thing you know you’re experiencing a chain reaction of similarly brooding thoughts exploding into a flaming shower of negativity? Before you can put on the brakes, your inner critic has maneuvered your emotions into the deep valley of self-loathing. In an effort to escape the onslaught of your inner critic you ‘turn yourself off’ by getting high or having happy hour/s lying comatose, vegging out on Netflix for the next six hours.

The crazy fact is, when that happens, it’s your mind’s way of being helpful. Or so it believes. Say you have the ugly thought, “No one really cares what happens to me. I’m truly all alone in this world.” Since your mind functions by making connections, right away it starts searching for information that will support that statement. “Oh, here’s one where your mother skipped your sixteenth birthday. And here’s another when you had the mumps and no one even checked on you for two days. Remember when . . . blech, yuck, icky thoughts galore.”

When that happens, we feel even worse and then we make even darker statements. Our mind then jogs right back to the archives to support our newest declaration of misery.

Neuroscientists tell us that we develop neuropathways by thinking the same thoughts over and over. What this means is if we are in the habit of allowing our mind to run rampant every time we have an unpleasant thought we are creating these negative neuropathways, commonly called grooves, in our brain.

The more we travel these grooves — the deeper they become — until one fated day they transform into a full-blown belief. Now they are how you identify yourself. “I am a person no one cares about. I am all alone in this world.” Once we adopt a belief then our outside world begins to reflect our inner world. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

And YOU did it all with YOUR mind. The good, no scratch that, the Amazing (!) news is that your brain works the same way with positive thoughts. Yes, it does. It’s a mechanism. It’s just doing what it was designed to do — making connections.

The next time your vicious inner critic gets to grooving YOU must stop it, mid-sentence even, and firmly say, “No! That’s not relevant.” It will start up right away again. And again, you say, “That’s not relevant.” Feel free to add, “Shut-up!” It doesn’t take long and it will stop. Really — I’m telling you — this works.

The accompanying photo is my SoulCollage© card depicting what my inner critic once was in my life – pre-recovery from childhood trauma. He’s a rare visitor these days and I keep a tight reign on his antics.

Visit my Facebook page daily this week for insights on more ways to tame your vicious inner-critic.

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